Sunday, June 10, 2012

Illusion


I've recently found myself in the strangest mood of my life. All that surrounds me, all that I’m a part of, and all that I’ve become is changing. I can step back and watch everything moving swiftly by and watch everything fall apart. I’m waiting. For what, I am unaware.

Do we hide behind the illusion of a made up sacred sense of life? All that I see others living for makes no sense to me.

A force fed existence. Our daily lives are mere distractions, in the end its all for nothing. Is life an act? Are we all just waiting to die? No one wants to think life is pointless, so we consume ourselves with goals and outcomes that determine our self-worth. Are all of the “important” factors of life just giving us some daily coping and distraction methods to wait for death?  

These thoughts aren't fully derived, just blocked out into categories of questions and ideas.

Money. Punching a clock 9-5?
The monotony of our routine. Do we pay attention to life surrounding us? Why do we pride a banal existence on being a type-A, hardworking job slave? Do we just get used to living our lives and routine that we are actually numb to the rest?

Success. Is it measureable? Does it really define us?

Religion. Made up?
What if it was proven God does not exist?  Would you be irate that you’ve wasted precious time on reading and devoting your life to ancestral creative writing?

Love. A selfish feeling?
How many can say they’ve loved unselfishly? Don’t we always want something in return? Even with the greatest intentions, we all love because of the amazing emotion that comes with love. What about lost love? Are we continuing to be selfish to want to purge the planet of our exes? What happens to love when it dies?

Competition. Do we all just compete for who can distract and cope while waiting?





I am in a line, post marked circa 1983. We are all unaware of the length of the line in which we stand, regardless of our post marked date. 







Mike, You are cherished in my memories every day that I am in line. 




1 comment:

  1. Heather - Why would my casual orbit around someone who I don't know and only recently discovered in this past year.... peek my interest? I think it is because you appear to be living life with both immense emotional depth as well as skimming along its surface. Perhaps even more so since the loss of your band mate and friend.

    MONEY: No one lives without it. The degree to which a person flaunts it, hovers over it like an unhatched egg, holds onto it as if it is the air they breathe...... matters not. We never know who is happiest or saddest with or without money. But I will admit to understanding the hurdles which can be overcome with it and how high the hurdles can be without it. Even in love.

    SUCCESS: Measurable - most certainly. But what is the measure of a man or woman

    Mother Theresa shared the success of the human spirit even when it ebbed at its lowest. Bill Gates vaulted high above others with his Microsoft works and then turned a highly vindictive crowd into believers when his GATES FOUNDATION turned multi-millions into aid and assistance. And I can recall my own mother's calming strokes to my forehead when my fever bristled & brewed ... until such time it broke. And that success, among others, endeared her to me as a savior of sorts. A person can successfully measure up. The choice of measure moves us forward along many different paths.

    LOVE: An elixir whose ingredients are made from the cuttings of our hearts, from snippets of our thoughts and prayers, from a squeeze of emotion and dreams, a tap or two of nightmares..... Love conquers all and yet it succumbs to even the slightest degree of pressure if the application burns or stings.

    I find love to be a bandit hidden from sight waiting to pounce. It may be there to lift us up from the dregs of society or knock us to our knees without a hint of anticipation. But a world without love would a wasteland of mediocrity.

    And love in its purest form melts the heart and leaves a woman or man unprotected. A rib ... a woman bears the pain of giving it.... and a man wanders aimlessly without her giving.

    COMPETITION: Banging the gong for attention. Setting off the alarm begs for a change of direction by someone. Words can be equally competitive. I write to you.

    ILLUSION: Do you feel as if life is showing you sleight of hand? Misdirection? Life is a traveling snake oil salesman at times. Life makes no claim that a person cannot change or accept... it simply is. I write because I sense life asks something of me.... you've asked.

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